Wednesday, April 28, 2010

SOME DAYS I FORGET THAT I AM THE PARENT AND THAT I AM IN “CONTROL”

Today I spent an exorbitant amount of time catering to my child’s desire to find the perfect toy at Toys R Us. Yesterday, I had bribed promised my son a new toy as a reward for exceptionally good behavior at the doctor’s office. He wouldn’t let me forget it either and gleefully reminded me that we needed to take a trip to the Toys R Us after lunch. We had a short argument about Target versus Toys R Us, but I caved, knowing that I wouldn’t be tempted to overspend at Toys R Us.

He looked at EVERYTHING – games, Thomas & friends, books, Legos, Lightning McQueen, Toy Story, Diego, Imaginex, Animal Planet. After an hour, I had reached my limit. Don’t ask me why I didn’t set a time limit with him beforehand. I tried some gentle prompting to pick out a toy followed by mild threats that if he didn’t pick something out quickly, we would leave the store empty-handed. I didn’t get truly ugly, just reverted to my inner teenager: exasperated sighs and an eye roll or two.

Somewhere in Aisle 5, a lightbulb went off. Yes, I am THE parent. Yes, I am in “control.” Yes, I should direct him to pick a toy and then go. End of story. Maybe I actually said with conviction this time around: “Pick out the toy you want and then we are going. What toy do you want?” And without hesitation, Prince led me back to the Lightning McQueen aisle to pick up yet another Chick Hicks. Thankfully, I got off lightly – only $6.

It could have been much worse.

******************************************************************************

Since my SAHM days are coming to end, I am recording how I spend my days so I can recollect how good I had it.

0645 Morning Duty
0830 Coffee break & IM with friend
0900 House-hunting/Making phone calls to set up appointments
1030 Personal Maintenance/Indulgence
1200 Pick up kiddo
1230 Lunch *
1330 Home & IM with friend
1500 Shopping @ Toys R Us (bribery/reward for good behavior at Dr office)
1630 Facebook
1730 Dinner (spaghetti & corn) **
1900 Bedtime Duty
2000 Websurfing – Searching for jobs ***
2100 Ahhhh…..Me time

*Cupboards/Fridge are void of lunch options. Need to get groceries. Holding out til payday doesn’t look like a realistic option.

**Hubby had dinner duty tonight.

***Simultaneously fascinating & frightening. The good news: there are jobs in my former career field out there. The bad news: I am not current. I need a major injection of confidence, dust off the cobwebs in my brain, and bone up on my skills level. Ugh! I so do not want to rewrite the resume. I don’t even think it will be a rewrite. More like a fresh start.

Today’s Expenses:
$ 1.65 Coffee
$10.90 Lunch
$ 6.58 Toys R Us

Monday, April 26, 2010

LIVING A LIFE OF LUXURY?! (SO SAYS HUBBY)

I am extremely annoyed at Hubby.

He jokes that I live a life of luxury. I’m not sure if he truly knows what I do in a day. He must assume I sit on my ass all day talking with my friends and watching TV.

Since my SAHM days are coming to end, I guess I should record how I spend my days so I can recollect how good I had it. *sigh*

0730 Morning Duty
0830 Coffee break & chat with Christine
0930 Mow Lawn
1045 Personal Maintenance *
1130 Errand @ car dealership
1200 Pick up kiddo
1230 Impromptu lunch date **
1345 Dr Appt for kiddo ***
1500 Errand @ post office
1515 Shopping @ Hobby Lobby (bday party invitations)
1615 Snack & start dinner
1730 Dinner (pork chops, rice & broccoli)
1800 Dance class
1930 Bedtime Duty
2030 Kitchen Clean Up
2100 Ahhhh…..Me time

*How wonderful to shower & shave and not worry about the potential mischief that kiddo may be doing in the living room.

** My girlfriend texted that she was in the area and wanted to know if we could meet for lunch. I love that I can have impromptu lunch dates with good friends, just because. The schedule is such that allows for flexibility.

***Again how incredibly important to have flexibility in the schedule. I only watched the time because I had to entertain kiddo for quite awhile before he was seen by the doctor. We were at the dr office for over an hour.

Let’s not forget all the things that are done mindlessly throughout the day: emptying the dishwasher, picking up toys, sorting the mail, wasting time on Facebook, laundry, texting….

I AM a busy woman; I'm just not overcommitted…yet! I'm not overly stressed out. (Current stress level does not count!) I have the time to handle schedule changes. I have the time to help out/talk with a friend. I have the time to chaperone kiddo on field trips at school. Most importantly, I GET PLENTY OF SLEEP. Something will have to give when I start working again. I think it will be sleep, personal relationships, and my health (more stress). Later this week, I will brainstorm on the positive aspects of going back to work (salon visits, paying down debt, improved self-confidence, yada, yada, yada), but right now I want to wallow in self-pity.

What can I say? I'm spoiled.

Expenses:
$ 1.65 Coffee
$14.05 Lunch
$ 1.65 Coffee (I splurged on a 2nd cup.)
$ 4.90 Postage
$16.64 Hobby Lobby

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

GIRLS NIGHT OUT: Retro 80s Stylin'!

Is Spoiled Wifey A Dancing Fool?

This past Saturday was Girls Night Out: 80s dress-up, dinner, drinks & dancing.

After 3 cosmos at the restaurant, I was already feeling like I ROCKED my 80s outfit. Oh yeah, I owned it. All the embarrassment of 80s dress-up with ridiculous hair was long gone. Now I dared my fellow bar patrons with my strut & attitude: “Why yes, I am wearing electric blue leggings. Look, Love & Covet, people!” Add Malibu rum (on the rocks!), and I apparently thought I belonged as the CENTER OF ATTENTION of an EMPTY dance floor, in front of the lead singer, getting my groove on, precariously clutching my precious dancing-inducing elixir.

My girlfriends were very kind to me.

They RESCUED me before I truly made a dancing fool of myself (perhaps already too late?). I know I am no dancing Elaine, thankfully. However, drunk Spoiled Wifey in 80s garb, dancing solo is probably not much better. The girlfriends closed ranks around me before I did anything truly regrettable. We had our instant dance party and a good time was had by all.

I am foolish about a lot of things. But dancing with my girlfriends, letting loose, and having a good time is not one of those times, or maybe I should say an appropriate time to be so. Girls Night Out are few and far between for our group of moms with preschoolers. How I will miss all these gal pals! We all relocate this summer and scatter to the four winds.

I am very grateful for the friendships I have made, given the short time we have been here, less than 10 months. I have learned to never underestimate how a gathering of friends can be so much fun (as it ought to be) but also life-affirming and empowering (hubby’s favorite word), even if we are wearing retro!

BTW, much thanks to my designated driver! You know who you are. 

P.S. I still had preschooler duty at 0730 on Sunday morning, thank you very much!

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Estrogen & Caffeine Pow Wow

I’m avoiding the soul searching. [Read previous post] Instead the past week I have been indulging in one of my favorite social activities: coffee with the ladies.

Now I don’t have a daily coffee break with the gals, although I think it would be warranted if I did. As a stay-at-home mama, social interaction requires effort. (Although thank god for Facebook! I feel less isolated and definitely more connected with the world with just a quick skim of status updates.) I still need face-to-face conversation with my “peers” outside the home. I compare it to an extended office coffee break, water cooler break or work lunch that my hubby enjoys on a regular basis with his workmates.

I’m going to say the word my hubby hates and thinks is terribly overused. I feel EMPOWERED with my coffee dates. I think it has to do with the concentration of estrogen that gives the caffeine we are drinking an extra kick. A chat with the ladies and suddenly I feel like I can do most anything. Tackle the never-ending to do list. Confront. Comfort. Support. Whine. Motivate.

The collective sharing of our lives gives each of us more depth and perspective. Here is a sample of our coffee chat from last week:

• husband gripes & kudos (Kudos to the hubby who single-handedly took care of his 18-month twins for 3 days while wifey was on a mini-vacation with other mamas. Yes, wifeys do this all the time without accolades but since it’s a departure from the norm for their household, we do give him props.

• our impending relocations and its associated to-do list (house-hunting, commuting considerations, school/day care, jobs/career options)

• our preschool boys’ love of the word poop

• after patiently waiting for 5 years, the impending adoption of a beautiful little girl from China and how life will change (i.e. they will finally buy a microwave! What parents can survive without a microwave?!)

• pilfering through a Mary Kay makeup stash of a consultant getting out of the business

• allergy symptoms and the best OTC remedies (thanks to our resident SAHM nurse practitioner)

Our next estrogen pow wow is tomorrow. I can hardly wait. I’m already thinking about my topic of discussion: the Tiger Woods interview at the Masters. Could it be any more of a good ole boys network? Or maybe I can get some tips how to completely remove cranberry juice stain from my carpet (since my steamvac is broken). Hmmmm….who knows what the discussion will be.

But let me suggest that tomorrow you too experience an uplifting energy surge. Drink coffee with your gal pals!