He barely looked back at us as he climbed onto the school bus today.

Waiting in the rain at the bus stop.

The whole family is here. In a blink, she'll be ready for this day all too soon for this mama!

Only looking back because we are calling to him.

He barely looked back at us as he climbed onto the school bus today.

I’m happy that he is excited for kindergarten.

I’m sad that my baby boy is growing up and every day he needs his mama less and less.

I remind myself, especially on this milestone morning, that my reward as a mom is to raise an INDEPENDENT child, and it's the culmination of these little milestones that gets him ready to walk out the door and face the world, one day completely on his own. I want him to know that he is loved unconditionally. I want him to face the beauty and the ugliness of the world with his eyes open and with the ability to navigate through it all to the other side of a life well lived.

This mama just needs to breathe and let go a little. The world is not out to get him. Letting him get on the bus was a huge act of faith for me that everything will be alright, that this community will take care of him, that he is prepared to follow the gingerbread men to his classroom, that he will be kind and friendly to others, that he will make friends easily, that he will not get picked on.

I am also accepting that I will not know every little detail of what will happen to him in a day. I will not get a daily report from his teachers. What was said? What was he reaction? Was he an instigator? What made him nervous? Or embarrassed? Or joyful? What did he think was funny?

So as his sister naps and I have a few minutes of solitude, I wonder what he will tell me today when he comes home from school. What will he take away from today? Is today glorious and let’s do it all again? Was today overwhelming? Was it just another day? I am looking forward to seeing my Little Man soon. Deep breath. He will find his way home without mommy intervention.

On the other hand, I am not so serious as to not enjoy my new found freedom (at least while the Baby naps). I have already had a Starbucks run, uploaded photos, talked to friends, scheduled a long overdue Mommy coffee for this Friday, cleaned my kitchen, made my dinner & shopping lists for the week, fed my child, and hung out on Facebook. And the list continues into the afternoon but I am just taking a few minutes to reflect, to pause, to enjoy this milestone morning of mine.