Parenting Reflections at Weekly Coffee or Alternate Title: How to Respond to “Mommy, if I press on my scrotum, it gives me super fast power.”

Ah…leisurely sipping coffee in the company of my girlfriend(s)…it’s one of my greatest pleasures. Discuss. Sip. Chat. Sip. Vent. Sip. Contemplate. Sip. Encourage. Sip. Breathe.

Today my friend A and I ventured to Busboys & Poets in Shirlington Village for coffee and breakfast. We both give a thumbs up to the location, menu, vibe of the place and will definitely return. Our purpose today was to catch up after over a month of no coffee dates. After a very long wait, A and her husband have adopted a beautiful baby girl and, among the craziness of the holidays, is adjusting to parenthood. We have neither seen or communicated much except for a few texts and Facebook posts. I eagerly listened to her experiences with instant motherhood, nap schedules, and the joys of having the cutest baby girl who sleeps through the night. She is happy. And I am happy for her.

I tend to think that I don’t do very much in a week, especially in comparison (the dreaded comparison) to working moms. Always the same rote routine: groceries, cleaning, laundry, cooking, library runs, playing, errands (and coffee dates!). Granted the past two weeks have been different since we have celebrated Christmas (and my, oh my, the work involved in creating the magic! I wholeheartedly agree with Suburban Turmoil’s Dec 27, 2010 post “Let the Holidays Begin”. ). There is no school, and thankfully Hubby is home on vacation.

However, talking with A this morning made me realize just how many big topics I have addressed for my very curious child in the past 2 weeks. Wow! When does this get any easier?! It doesn’t. I know. But do I always have to feel so unprepared and ambushed?! In no particular order, my child and I have discussed the following topics in the past 2 weeks and let me just say, most came out of left field, of which I was not quite prepared:

Gay Marriage: “Mommy, Isn’t it funny if a boy and a boy get married?”

Death: “Mommy, I am sad that Nanay is turning into bones like the dinosaurs.”

Life Everlasting: “Mommy, I want you to become a vampire so you can live forever. And then I want you to make me a vampire, too so we can live forever together.”

Anatomy: “Mommy, How will the baby get out of your Belly?”

Mario Brothers Game: “Mommy, if I press on my scrotum, it gives me super fast power.”

Hubby and I must have been prepared for Christmas. Because we were not surprised by any questions about Santa and his elves, sleigh delivery time schedules, making of toys and keeping of lists nor on the religious side either, the birth of Jesus in a manger. Kiddo accepted it all without too much questioning….this year, anyway.

My coffee date with A was very refreshing for me because I got to reflect and delight in parenting and all its endless questions. A knows her time is coming. In only a few years she, too, will be answering the “tough” questions. After such heavy duty reflection, our coffee date

ended with a little bit of Cake Love. And that’s what the world needs – more love of any kind!

Next week: Coffee date with A & working mom K.

I Have Substandard Holiday Craft Skills, EVEN WITH a Pre-made Kit!

It seemed like a simple gingerbread tree kit, a great opportunity for the kiddo and me to have some holiday craft fun. Play with icing. Stick candies all over the tree. How hard could it be?

The evidence--Our project:





The kit cover:



My 1st oops -- disassembling the tree branches. Too much force, apparently. Result: Broken tree branches.

My 2nd oops – too large of a cut with the icing bags. Result: Icing EVERYWHERE!

The kiddo is trying to be patient while I assemble the tree. He is opening all the candy bags and sampling the decorations. Finally, the tree is together, haphazardly but ready for little boy fingers. But the icing proves too difficult to work with. It’s not super cement glue like he is accustomed to. It doesn’t hold the candy on contact.




And yet he smiles, obviously pleased.



He loses interest after 15 minutes (although I argue that 15 minutes not in front of the TV this holiday vacation, so perhaps worth it.)

Start to Finish for Mama: 50 minutes. Although clean-up lasted the longest of all. And I still have to wash my tablecloth!

No one said it had to be Martha Stewart-perfect. Just fun!

Ah, Spoiled Wifey is working hard creating the Christmas magic & memories….

Spoiled Wifey Note: Day 1 of 14 for holiday vacation.

Rudolph Bit Off Santa’s Beard and Other Things We Tell Our Children….

This past weekend we took the kiddo to a breakfast with Santa, hosted by his church preschool that he attends. I had high hopes that we would score the perfect photo for our Christmas card and maybe snag a family photo, too.

This is what I got:

A BEARDLESS SANTA in jeans & cowboy boots!!

I don’t require perfection. I am all about flexibility. But come on, Santa needs to have a beard!

Mrs. Claus did have a quick recovery. She read a story to the children while Santa was tending the reindeer, and then she prepped the children about the beard situation. So her story is that Rudolph bit off part of Santa’s beard, although I’m not sure why – if he was hungry or ornery (I guess I should ask my child to clarify. He no doubt will know.). Santa didn’t want an uneven beard so he shaved it off. But he PROMISED that his beard would be full and bushy by Christmas. *Promise*

Does my kiddo look unconvinced? Skeptical? Hooked? I think a strong desire for toys outweighs any serious questions that he might have had. He dutifully stood in line and patiently waited his turn to talk with Santa. We “kind, flexible, roll-with-the-punches” parents discussed whether Santa might have been a tad more approachable for the wee ones without his beard. (Ha!) In the end, we got our little boy a picture with Santa, just not the picture perfect one I had hoped for. The kiddo though had a great time. And really what more should I ask for?!

Hmm…..although I do have to go to Plan B for the Christmas card photo.

Double hmm…..and I am still debating whether we should pursue another Santa photo. But what then will I tell my child when he sees a slightly different Santa? He did tell me he now knows what Santa looks and sounds like. Oh my, what’s my story now?!

Cheers!!

Spoiled Wifey HATES Housework! (And Other Rants, but I Did Have a Wonderful Thanksgiving)

All the machines are running—dishwasher, washer & dryer. Radio is on. Gigantic pile of laundry waiting for me downstairs. Pots & pans waiting for me in the sink. Bed is unmade. Recycling boxes need to be broken down. *sigh*

After a wonderful Thanksgiving, my Mother-in-Law (MiL) has left and in 2 days time, household clutter & chaos has returned. It has become very apparent that I am a terrible housekeeper. My MiL is in constant motion. The entire holiday weekend my kitchen was spotless. The living room was always picked up. The trash and recycling never piled up. She has an amazing energy reserve. So besides being free from cooking this holiday weekend, I also had a very clean, clutter-free house. And she let me sleep in every day. I was spoiled, but now in retrospect I am feeling slightly guilty for being so incredibly lazy.

Futile housework makes me very bitchy and hateful. As I have already spent an hour of cleaning up dishes from last night (Spoiled Wifey Confession: Yes, I routinely let them sit in the sink overnight.) and picking up the living room, I am starting to seethe toward the Hubby. Come on, Ladies, you know the routine: Polite requests to pick up or put away things are ignored for days on end. I am feeling like his personal maid, which is never good as it builds resentment and I lose that loving feeling. I have decided that I am not going to touch his office. I know he will wait until he is buried in dishes and trash before he cleans. Primarily when it affects his ability to play his video games will he motivate.

Now I am no clean freak myself. I am just as guilty for leaving things be for days on end, too. I do get annoyed with myself but I can tolerate picking up my own mess and the kiddo much better. Man oh man, I can sympathize with professional housecleaners. What a thankless, underpaid job!

I can’t be all negativity and ranting, so let’s talk about Thanksgiving, shall we? I always hope that I am providing for a happy childhood for the kiddo. Celebrating the holiday traditions with our small family, hopefully with minimal stress, is a sure-fire way that I’m doing one aspect of my “job”. Ha! So the MiL was able to come for the long weekend and the Hubby was able to take the Wed and Fri off as well. Five glorious days together, one happy family! The highlights include cooking together, giving thanks at our sumptuous meal, kiddo making a turkey project, watching “Tangled” in 3D at the theatre (Holy Moly, $49 for 4 tickets and another $25 for popcorn & drinks! It saddens me to think that people are not able to afford an escape to the movies.), walking the dogs around the neighborhood daily (usually it’s such a chore that the Hubby and I pitch to each other), decorating the Christmas tree and putting up the decorations.

Reflecting on how awesome my holiday was has definitely put me in a better mood. Now in my remaining 30 minutes of my alone time, I just need to do my hair and apply make-up before I pick up the Boy. Looking like I have it together will make me think I have it together! Right now, I look haggard and feel bitchy. Not an image I want to project to the world. 

Some pics of our Thanksgiving weekend:

Brining the turkey


Cooked Turkey


Yummy Thanksgiving Meal

Spoiled Wifey Thanksgiving Meal 2010

Our Menu:

Cider Bourbon-Glazed Roast Turkey with Shallot Gravy, Williams-Sonoma Kitchen

Farmhouse Herbed Stuffing, Epicurious November 2007

Green Beans with Bacon and Shallots, Bon Appetit December 2000

Stuffed Mushrooms with Sun-Dried Tomato, Gourmet April 1992

Cranberry Sauce, Gourmet November 1999

Mashed Potatoes

Brandied Wild Mushroom Soup, Whole Foods

Dessert:

Pumpkin & Cherry Pies from Heidelberg Bakery, Arlington

Apple Pie from Whole Foods

Why am I a spoiled wifey for Thanksgiving? Because Hubby & Mother-in-law have given me the day off from cooking and they will prepare the feast. I am so excited that I have no kitchen responsibilities.

Whatever shall I do with my free time? Well, I don’t really have free time as I will be playing with my sweet child. And we do have a few projects to do….make a thankful turkey poster and a turkey popcorn holder. However, I am hoping that I will have some time to begin the annual holiday newsletter. Cheesy but I absolutely LOVE holiday newsletters!

Wishing you and yours a Happy Thanksgiving and another year of blessings….

Changes, Chaos & Sadness This Past Week

The changes to my schedule that I posted 2 weeks ago never came to fruition as sickness visited our household and caused an abrupt stop to all activities while the boy was on the mend. He had a rather nasty cold to include fever and a cough that took the full week to kick. No moral support adventures, no exploring of DC, no routine activities.

A Turn for the Worst….

And then Chaos was added to my week. My grandmother had been diagnosed with a terminal cancer (lymphoma) and was admitted into the hospital because she was experiencing extreme pain in her hip last week. Initially the doctors’ prognosis was weeks, possibly a month or two. So with that timeframe to work with, Hubby and I were trying to coordinate a visit. While I was waiting for my parents’ input, my Dad calls to inform me that my Grandmother’s condition had deteriorated rapidly overnight and that I needed to come ASAP.

I took that call around noon. I booked my tickets at 2:00. I was at the airport at 5:00, and in Nevada at midnight, straight to her hospital room. She was moved to hospice the next morning and passed away in the afternoon. Everything happened so suddenly. I am very sad. But I take comfort that she is no longer in pain and that she was surrounded by her family during her final days.

My grandmother was a loving woman and lived a beautiful life. She leaves behind 9 children, 25 grandchildren, 8 great grandchildren + counting. I will miss her dearly. I love you, Nanay!!