SHE POOPS!!! Alternate Title: I Praise the Power of Prunes.

I never realized how much of my life would include dealing with shit! Literally.

We are at the baby stage in which one of my primary job duties is poop analysis: consistency and frequency. (And of course, there is poop clean-up, but that’s not really a stage, it’s a never-ending duty.) Little girl has been eating solids for the past two weeks. We started with rice cereal and applesauce and then moved to vegetables. Her favorite food thus far has been carrots.

Since she is the second child, I am much more relaxed about keeping track of things, one of which is the frequency of her bowel movements. Right from the get go, her regularity has been spaced out by days. So I was not surprised nor alarmed when she had not done her business in a few days. But then, extreme crankiness descended upon the house. Clearly, my little one felt very uncomfortable. Hmmm….after mentally reviewing the “what’s-wrong-with-baby” checklist, I noted that perhaps my preciousness might be constipated. She was not necessarily inconsolable, but definitely letting me know that she was not happy. The usual comforts from Mom were not cutting it.

So we had a series of bad nights of a lot of crying and restless sleeping….and that was just me. Ha! No seriously, she was up a lot. Midnight bath and tummy massage did temporarily relieve the pressure build-up and did allow for some sleep for both of us. I called the pediatrician’s office for advice on at home remedies as well as to make an appointment if those did not correct the problem. The nurse recommended apple juice and prunes. And if that did not solve it, then a glycerin suppository. I really hoped it did not come down to that.

Happily she sucked down apple juice for the first time. And prunes? Why they are delicious. Thank you, Mommy. Now I praise the power of prunes. I did not have to wait for long for the prunes to work its magic. Later in the afternoon, albeit it was an effort for her as conveyed with some very angry crying, she passed what can only be described as a golf ball of poop. Her bowel movement was the size of a golf ball and just about as hard. No wonder little girl was mad.

This is how I know I unabashedly embrace parenthood. I considered taking a picture and sending it the Hubby. I didn’t! I just thought about it. Instead I did give a full report to the Hubby which I’m sure made his day in between emails, meetings, and briefings.

But there is a cautionary note to this as well. Beware of prune power! Because apparently, I overloaded little girl with a little too much prunes. Her body obviously tried to self-correct its system. I had to deal with not one, but two blowouts soon thereafter the golf ball incident.

I haven’t decided which is worse – constipation crankiness or blowout battles that make me want to don on protective gear, throw everything out in a hurry, and dunk her in the bathtub.

For the time being, I do now have a happy girl. I am monitoring her poop schedule a little more closely as well as her diet. It’s the first bout of many, I’m sure.

He barely looked back at us as he climbed onto the school bus today.

Waiting in the rain at the bus stop.

The whole family is here. In a blink, she'll be ready for this day all too soon for this mama!

Only looking back because we are calling to him.

He barely looked back at us as he climbed onto the school bus today.

I’m happy that he is excited for kindergarten.

I’m sad that my baby boy is growing up and every day he needs his mama less and less.

I remind myself, especially on this milestone morning, that my reward as a mom is to raise an INDEPENDENT child, and it's the culmination of these little milestones that gets him ready to walk out the door and face the world, one day completely on his own. I want him to know that he is loved unconditionally. I want him to face the beauty and the ugliness of the world with his eyes open and with the ability to navigate through it all to the other side of a life well lived.

This mama just needs to breathe and let go a little. The world is not out to get him. Letting him get on the bus was a huge act of faith for me that everything will be alright, that this community will take care of him, that he is prepared to follow the gingerbread men to his classroom, that he will be kind and friendly to others, that he will make friends easily, that he will not get picked on.

I am also accepting that I will not know every little detail of what will happen to him in a day. I will not get a daily report from his teachers. What was said? What was he reaction? Was he an instigator? What made him nervous? Or embarrassed? Or joyful? What did he think was funny?

So as his sister naps and I have a few minutes of solitude, I wonder what he will tell me today when he comes home from school. What will he take away from today? Is today glorious and let’s do it all again? Was today overwhelming? Was it just another day? I am looking forward to seeing my Little Man soon. Deep breath. He will find his way home without mommy intervention.

On the other hand, I am not so serious as to not enjoy my new found freedom (at least while the Baby naps). I have already had a Starbucks run, uploaded photos, talked to friends, scheduled a long overdue Mommy coffee for this Friday, cleaned my kitchen, made my dinner & shopping lists for the week, fed my child, and hung out on Facebook. And the list continues into the afternoon but I am just taking a few minutes to reflect, to pause, to enjoy this milestone morning of mine.

I Need To SELF-MEDICATE with a Binge of Chocolate Chip Cookies & Beer! Alternate Title: When Life with Young Kids is Exhausting & Unsatisfying

My Brain is fried. Only works in fragments, short bursts, and with To Do lists.

My Patience is worn thin. The child has broken my Spirit and my Cool several times today and it’s not yet dinnertime. The most common phrase in this household today: “Leave your Sister Alone.” (Small blessing: He loves her so much. Unfortunately so much that he is always in her face kissing her and kissing her AND kissing her. Kissing her while I’m nursing. Um, yeah it’s annoying. Kissing her while I’m changing her diaper. Um, yeah it’s annoying. ) Also, he has selective hearing and a strong will of his own. Apparently in his mind, all instructions and directives are optional until said a 4th time. I think maybe on the 4th time, our voice not only carries the sound of irritation and exasperation but the vein starts bulging out.

I’m not saying the Baby is manipulative…..yet. But if she is awake, she is fussing to be held. Hubby thinks I have spoiled her and that I hold her too much. However, listening to her cry when my patience is already thin with the Boy really isn’t an option. So into the baby carrier she goes. I’d rather ruin my back than listen to a crying baby. (I’m currently typing one-handed as she is in my other arm.)

I hate to think that battle lines are drawn. It’s us versus our children. Aren’t we suppose to be on the same team? But Hubby & I are frazzled. You can hear it in our voices. We are about two temper tantrums away from turning on each other. We are tired of taking turns, giving each other a break. This life is exhausting no matter how you look at it. I suppose that’s the nature of this stage. And I tell myself this whining, this crying, this sleep deprivation is just a stage. We are about to turn the corner. But are we really?

Right now it’s relatively calm. The Baby is happily sitting with me. The Boy is happily playing downstairs in his overstocked toy room. The Hubby is putzing around the house. I am regrouping with my writing rant (Writing = Therapy) before I start dinner. I am also trying to not look around the house which is in its usual state of disaster.

No one ever wants to admit that sometimes being locked up in a small white room by yourself would be blissful. Imagine the silence. Imagine the clean white walls. Just Imagine. But I know I’d last about 15 minutes, ok, more like 30 minutes before I start missing my children, before I start wondering what they are doing, before I want to see them and kiss them. At least that’s what happens to me when I do get a break, like this morning when I was getting my nails done. 30 minutes later I was texting Hubby for an update.

My children are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I am just tested daily about my worthiness as a parent. Yes, I wish I didn’t find some days so difficult. Yes, I can admit that some days, or a string of days, are much harder than others. Yes, I have accepted the fact that I will always love my children, I just won’t always like what they do. I have accepted that my children won’t always like what I do either (Hopefully, if I am fortunate, they will love me even through the difficult days.). And that’s ok to admit.

At the end of a difficult day, I self-medicated with 30 minutes of mindless exercising on the treadmill until the sweat and endorphins kicked in. As much as I want the cookies and beer, I’d like to keep up with my Kiddos and figured I can’t be weighed down. I’d like to have this parenting gig for a long time, at the very least until I see my grandchildren (also known as Payback).

Adventures with Cristin & Val: Playing Tourist

Oh I had good intentions to write about our weekly adventures. I was too tired to write because Life is full. Anyway, it has been weeks and weeks and here now it’s the middle of the summer. I had the kiddo enrolled in 6 weeks of back-to-back day camps: church camp, dinosaur camp, pirate camp. We have a lot of artwork to show for it, too which will soon be gracing our walls.

And now the real fun starts, every day, all day, for the next 8 weeks I have my little ones. Yes, I have counted. There is one family vacation getaway and one family visit in there, which should break it up a bit. But I will need all my creative powers and a good’s night rest to keep us all entertained and engaged for the summer (within budget!), while also pursuing my own interests (reading/writing, fitness certification, adult conversation, and a lot of refreshing summer cocktails).

Thank goodness my good friend Cristin has re-entered my life. We are both at the same life stage right now (Read: Stay-at-home Mamas) and meet up once a week with our kids for companionship and to play tourist. It helps that she lives a mere 5 miles from me. While I like meeting new people and making friends, I’d rather connect/reconnect with people who have been in and out of my life and spend my time strengthening those friendships that we have a history. Cristin and I met when we were 18 years old, lived in the same dorm (Go PE Pyros!), and were in AFROTC together. I love that we have a shared history. Since I move around so often and my life and my relationships are disrupted so frequently, I definitely hold on to my friends.

I find at this stage in my life, I value my time so much more. How I chose to spend my time and energy, especially my ME time that is so limited, is so precious. I like to maximize my joy and happiness (Who doesn’t?!). Hubby has been calling me a Hedonist lately. Which I very well may be, but I find I “splurge” a lot for my me time. And frankly, I find nothing wrong with that. Now if I’d only try those things, even if I have to do it by myself, that I think will bring me joy! (Read: SALSA lessons!)

And of course, I am off on a tangent. So back to Cristin and my weekly adventures. We knocked off a few things off my Play-Tourist-in-DC list. We attended the annual National BBQ festival in downtown DC. As usual we underestimated travel times, crowds, and babies’ temperaments. We took the bus to the event and my poor baby girl showed everyone what healthy lungs she has. I’m sure that was really a lot of fun for my fellow passengers. Thankfully, most people appeared to be unfazed as I had most people near us making funny faces at her. As soon as we exited the bus, we found a bench and I nursed her. Give me a bench and a nursing cover and let’s go!

The BBQ Fest was fun if you like long lines. Actually, I would have had fun if I could have had unlimited beer and didn’t have to two children to tend to, then standing in line wouldn’t be so intolerable. My 5-year old didn’t give a damn about BBQ and most certainly would not stand in line without whining. So Cristin, her husband and I took turns hanging out in the LOUDEST tent at the event – the LEGOS tent – with kiddo while the rest of us stood in line for beer & bbq.
We did score some free Oscar Mayer hot dogs and a picture.

My friends look happy. Thank god they are easygoing. Kiddo’s face is more accurate about how we all felt about the day. (Where is my Hubby? He stayed at home, enjoying his precious Me time.)

I have been talking up the boat ride on the C&O Canal to the kiddo for the past two weeks in Georgetown. This summer might turn into a big scouting party of all the DC sites. So we actually got ourselves there but didn’t actually take the boat ride. Parking is nightmarishly expensive in that area. ($10 first hour, $18 unlimited in a parking garage). We both found street parking (A quarter gets you 7.5 minutes or $4 for the maximum 2 hours), but our timing was off to enjoy the boat ride. Our parking meter would have expired while we were on the hour boat ride. So instead we walked around and “explored.” As you can imagine, the kiddo was very disappointed to not ride the boat and didn’t give a damn about parking meters. But as we are starting to explain the value of money and choices to him, I explained that if we got a parking ticket (which I’m sure would be exorbitant) then we wouldn’t have any money to buy Legos.

We did walk along the canal where we met a very precocious boy named Christopher who was fishing. He offered my kiddo bread to feed to the ducks and fish. Kiddo was fascinated by this for awhile. We also walked to the National Harbor for a great view and a drink. So….next time, we know better…we will pay the outrageous fee for parking but not have a time limit while we enjoy the Canal and Georgetown.

Week 3 of Summer Fun: Tourist in Our Own Backyard / Summer To Do List in DC

Last week, the kids & I visited Mount Vernon with my friend Cristin & her son. Our visit was more like a scouting trip, as we didn’t see much due to time constraints. After we arrived later in the afternoon than we had anticipated (as usual my timing execution was a tad bit off!), we had to unload the car (stroller, water, diaper bag, etc), apply sunscreen, find a bathroom for diaper changes, and then feed the children. So an hour later, we were FINALLY ready to see the estate. Unfortunately, I had to meet Hubby at home by 4:30, so we really only had an hour or so to walk the grounds.

An adult ticket is $15. An annual pass is $25. So with the idea that we will return one day with a better understanding how to time our trip (as in start earlier in the day!), both Cristin & I bought annual passes. The view of the Potomac River is stunning! I can’t wait to go back to take the tour of the house. We only had time to walk the grounds. The kiddo led us around, referring to his Treasure Map. The factoid taken away by the kiddo is that George Washington was our first president. He also liked the donkey & horse in the stables.

I have started a list of sights to see/things to do this summer in between our summer travel:
• C&O Canal in Georgetown
• DC Duck Tour
• Tour Mobile
• Mount Vernon
• National Capital BBQ battle
• Open a savings account with kiddo (ceremonially emptying of the piggy bank)

As an aside, in the fall baby & I intend to visit (sans kiddo):
• Tea @ National Cathedral
• Spy Museum
• U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum
• National Portrait Gallery

So much to do, just need to get organized!

It's summertime, and the livin's easy!!

Week 1 of Summer Sanity Test (aka Summer Break has begun!)

Day 1, Tuesday

It’s 2:00 in the afternoon. Already we have been to the Splash Park in the morning, had lunch, and the boy is happily watching Tom & Jerry cartoons. After 2 recorded episodes (love the DVR!), I put in Tom & Jerry “Shiver Me Whiskers” and have promised myself that once it’s finished we will do something productive (i.e. no TV!).

Something Productive:

(Yes, I am fully aware that the boy has his shirt on inside out and backwards. Pick your battles, people.)

Continuing the pirate theme, we opened up one of his birthday gifts – a pirate chest painting kit. I tried to give a lesson on primary colors and mixing paint which was totally lost on him. He did take great delight mixing all the colors to make a very dark brown-black color. While he painted and fiddled with the lock & key, I put on some Reggae music, which was a flop. Then I tried the Tropicales music channel which he tolerated a bit better. Our little parrot girl loved the music as well as being held by Captain Mommy. Right now she is hanging out on the poop deck (i.e. floor mat). The boy has disappeared down below to play. I turned off the music and here I sit with the blissful sounds of a baby cooing waving a rattle, a boy playing make-believe and the click-clack of my nails hitting the keyboard.

And no sooner as I get into groove and organize my thoughts, the parrot is squawking. Too much poop? Is it time for another diaper & outfit change? Seriously, the velocity at which poop comes out of the girl is like rocket propulsion, as evidenced by the aftermath. But here I digress. I’ll be back….

4:30pm. What to make for dinner? The grill is open now, so that widens the menu choice. Hmmm…the fridge is a bit bare, requiring a grocery trip tomorrow with both kids. Lovely.

INVENTORY CONTROL:
One of my many non-stop job duties is managing inventory. My current project is throwing overboard all that is weighing us down. We haven’t played a CD in years. The CD player got packed up two moves ago and never got unpacked. Now it’s all

And we now take a break to play “Hide and Go Seek”

DAY 2, Wednesday

So I never completed writing about Day 1. Once again, writing complete thoughts on the minutiae of my life is not meant to be and frankly is not that interesting. But I do want to highlight and remember the constant shifts in my attention during this blissful time at home.

All mothers have been drilled into their heads that their children should not watch too much TV, unless you want them to be obese, lack social skills, and be more aggressive. (I’m sure I read that somewhere in a government-funded study!). I just want my child to stop reciting commercials back to me. The kid is a big advocate for OxyClean because “It CAN clean through the toughest stains.” I’ve heard this more than my fair share. Which makes me wonder, really how many times has he seen that commercial? This is my indicator that my boy does indeed watch too much television.

But the TV is the fallback for me. I want 20 minutes extra of sleeping time in the morning – TV babysitter. I need to make a phone call – TV babysitter. Can I just get 15 minutes of uninterrupted time so I can start dinner?! -- TV babysitter. And then the next thing I know, it’s hours and hours of TV. SO one of my goals is to redirect the boy for imaginative play without necessarily involving me. For the record, I am NOT good at re-enacting any of the Star Wars movies. My attention span for playing Star Wars Legos unfortunately is about as long as a Billy Mayes’ Oxyclean commercial!

Less TV is an admirable goal but one that requires organization and planning to execute. Today we had scheduled a play date with one of his preschool classmates. No one of sane mind would be outside today though with temperatures in the mid-90s and a blanket of humidity. We opted for bowling indoors with A/C (and a beer for the Moms). The kids had a blast. My own kiddo declared “Mom, bowling is my new favorite sport!” Almost 3 hours of fun! I know it’s been a good productive day when the Boy falls asleep in the car on the way home! But then right back to that TV babysitter.

What’s on the agenda for tomorrow? Day 3 Park with neighborhood friends in the morning and then an afternoon of errands of which I need to mentally prepare myself – the mall for a hopefully quick in-and-out of one store, library, and grocery store.

Next week camp starts. Whew! I will only be responsible for half a day. Thank goodness!

May the Force Be With You on Your Birthday and Always

My boy is Spoiled.

Not necessarily a Spoiled Brat….yet. But he is definitely embracing the celebration of self. This morning on the way to school he was singing repeatedly “I am 5 today. I am 5 today.” And then he asked in the same breath, “Why do I have to go to school today if it’s my birthday?” Oy. This indulgence is my creation.

I think birthdays are a big deal. (My own birthday celebration has morphed into a celebratory birth month!) We all know that the world can be a cruel and lonely place that doesn’t always shower the individual with love and acceptance. That hard lesson comes later. But for the here and now at the tender age of 5, all my boy needs to know and understand is that he is LOVED and is very special. I can’t help myself but to shower him with birthday surprises that I know will make him happy. I want a happy boy. I don’t want an indulgent child, or demanding child, or a truly spoiled child. Obviously, there is a line that may be crossed and I am keeping an eye on that line and gauging that indeed we don’t even get close! I don’t want to hand him the world on a silver platter either. But certainly at this age he can expect love, a birthday party, the toy that he really, really, really wants and lots of hugs and kisses.

The planning started last month in April. How did he want to celebrate his big day? His response: A party with ALL his classmates invited. Oh my! This, too, is an age of inclusion (which it should be if space and cost allow it, in my opinion). But where, oh where, does one have a inexpensive party for potentially 15+ very energetic kids? Most definitely NOT at my house! I checked out a few options around town, but none worked within my budget or my time preferences. (Like anything else in a highly populated area, advanced reservations are highly recommended. Six weeks prior to his party date, all the prime time slots were reserved.) Thankfully, I was able to convince him that a party at the playground would be incredibly fun.

He didn’t buy into the playground idea last year when we were in Alabama. In retrospect, I’m glad we had his party at an air-conditioned gymnastics center, because in mid-May, the weather is already hotter than Hades in the South. We would have melted in the 90+ degree weather. Fortunately a quick phone call 2 weeks prior, I was able to make a reservation for a prime time slot at the gymnastics center for the 20+ kids that were invited. Sometimes pokey, less populated Southern living has its perks!

Arlington has a gazillion well-maintained parks and playgrounds. Thanks to my new nanny friend, she knows all the great spots for preschoolers and introduced me to a newly renovated playground with bathrooms! I’m a just-in-time (Read: Procrastinator) kind of gal and we handed out invitations less than a week prior. The party was held on our regular day off from school and I was pleasantly surprised how well attended it was by both mommy and kiddos. The weather even held out for us, although there was a forecast of showers. It did rain but not until well after the party was over.

The boy loved playing with all his friends on the playground. Good old fashioned fun – climbing, jumping, running, chasing, pretending, and using the imagination -- with very few referee interventions from the mommy watch group. When it was time for cake, he also loved being the center of attention with the birthday song and blowing out the candles. The mound of presents from his generous friends (Remind me to discuss “No Gifts” for next year!) were saved for opening at home, which I think is the norm for this age group. Thank goodness because it took us nearly an hour!

Happy Birthday Memories are almost complete. The boy is finishing up his Thank You cards, which are twofold on my part. One, I won’t let him play/open any of his gifts until he writes his thank you’s. We all know that if we don’t write a thank you note right away, it will never get done, right? (wink) Two, writing a thank you, besides its obvious lesson, is a time-filler and an exercise for the boy to practice his letters. Writing his name 16 times and then the names of all his friends was a concentration challenge. Since he really wanted to open his toys, he completed the thank you project in two sittings. I was impressed.

To finish the birthday week celebration, we still had his school celebration which involved eating lunch with the Boy at school, handing out special birthday treats, sharing photos/information with his classmates and reading a story. I tenaciously hold onto themes with the idea that it makes life easier. Star Wars once again….this time Star War Cupcakes. Williams-Sonoma sells kits. Of course, just-in-time gal that I am, sometimes I have to resort to foregoing sleep to make deadlines. I was baking cupcakes at midnight. My efforts, however, paid off as the cupcakes turned out well. Most importantly, I had a happy boy. Will he remember the details? Probably not. May he always remember that he is LOVED. That’s all I want.