Diva Darling and I had to pass
the time while Pride & Joy was at a birthday party.I didn’t want to drive back home only to turn
around again.Instead Diva and I went to
the grocery store and then sat in the car eating Oreos.Diva was most pleasant, ecstatic to be
allowed to sit in the front seat.I was
most pleasant, not fretting about Oreo crumbs. (I didn’t post about it but in the
3 days prior I already dealt with projectile vomit and 2 canisters of baking
sugars, thankfully not together, all over Diva Darling’s car seat.Oreos seem rather innocuous at this point.)
A calm, ordinary, but joyous
moment with my child.No
resentment.Or wishing I was doing
something else.Or rushing here and
there.Just in a state of being.I’m glad I snapped a picture.I want to remember that there should be
moments like this every day (and there are but I don't appreciate them nearly enough) when I am enjoying the moment, living the moment, not distracted.
After a successful birthday party for Baby Girl (and running around last week as a crazed mama with a checklist), I thought I'd be taking it easy this week. But nooooo, of course not. Party clean up rolled right into TLC Duty. Little Man developed a nasty cold with heavy congestion. I have been enforcing afternoon naps. I have been monitoring the fluid intake. I have been wiping noses, taking temperatures, giving hugs, and in general being an attentive mama nurse. (I might baby the boy a little bit. )
I kept him home from school today, primarily because he is a snot monster. How much can he learn when he is wiping his nose every other minute? Besides we were both tired having been up at 4am to make the TLC rounds, to include the popular "I instantly feel better crawling into my parents' bed to snuggle and sleep." (Today has been a highly caffeinated day.)
I rescheduled my two appts and then we took it easy for most if the day.We did make a quick run into Barnes & Noble Bookstore for two specific get well items: Pigeon finds a Hot Dog by Mo Williems and Cars 2 DVD. Until I saw the price. I refuse to pay $39.99 for a blu-ray DVD. That's ludicrous! Thankfully another title, in my price range, caught his eye.
Today though has been challenging in TLC management versus all other domestic chores. My house is a disaster. All regular chores aside from dining support did not happen. Baby Girl and Sick Little Man would take turns vying for my attention ALL DAY and well into the evening and long into the night I'm sure.
I'm typing this on my phone as I rock Baby Girl at 11:30pm. She too now has congestion and is uncomfortable. Little Man migrated to the living room couch, and having slept for hours this afternoon, is wide awake watching TV.
It's gonna be a long night.
And I can already tell tomorrow will be a repeat of today.
I can’t help to think "Did I shower today?" So maybe a shower at midnight is in order since clearly two days of TLC duty does not leave time for much else.
Yup, stinky but loving and attentive qualifies for mommy of the year.
I never realized how much of my life would include dealing with shit! Literally.
We are at the baby stage in which one of my primary job duties is poop analysis: consistency and frequency. (And of course, there is poop clean-up, but that’s not really a stage, it’s a never-ending duty.) Little girl has been eating solids for the past two weeks. We started with rice cereal and applesauce and then moved to vegetables. Her favorite food thus far has been carrots.
Since she is the second child, I am much more relaxed about keeping track of things, one of which is the frequency of her bowel movements. Right from the get go, her regularity has been spaced out by days. So I was not surprised nor alarmed when she had not done her business in a few days. But then, extreme crankiness descended upon the house. Clearly, my little one felt very uncomfortable. Hmmm….after mentally reviewing the “what’s-wrong-with-baby” checklist, I noted that perhaps my preciousness might be constipated. She was not necessarily inconsolable, but definitely letting me know that she was not happy. The usual comforts from Mom were not cutting it.
So we had a series of bad nights of a lot of crying and restless sleeping….and that was just me. Ha! No seriously, she was up a lot. Midnight bath and tummy massage did temporarily relieve the pressure build-up and did allow for some sleep for both of us. I called the pediatrician’s office for advice on at home remedies as well as to make an appointment if those did not correct the problem. The nurse recommended apple juice and prunes. And if that did not solve it, then a glycerin suppository. I really hoped it did not come down to that.
Happily she sucked down apple juice for the first time. And prunes? Why they are delicious. Thank you, Mommy. Now I praise the power of prunes. I did not have to wait for long for the prunes to work its magic. Later in the afternoon, albeit it was an effort for her as conveyed with some very angry crying, she passed what can only be described as a golf ball of poop. Her bowel movement was the size of a golf ball and just about as hard. No wonder little girl was mad.
This is how I know I unabashedly embrace parenthood. I considered taking a picture and sending it the Hubby. I didn’t! I just thought about it. Instead I did give a full report to the Hubby which I’m sure made his day in between emails, meetings, and briefings.
But there is a cautionary note to this as well. Beware of prune power! Because apparently, I overloaded little girl with a little too much prunes. Her body obviously tried to self-correct its system. I had to deal with not one, but two blowouts soon thereafter the golf ball incident.
I haven’t decided which is worse – constipation crankiness or blowout battles that make me want to don on protective gear, throw everything out in a hurry, and dunk her in the bathtub.
For the time being, I do now have a happy girl. I am monitoring her poop schedule a little more closely as well as her diet. It’s the first bout of many, I’m sure.
My Brain is fried. Only works in fragments, short bursts, and with To Do lists.
My Patience is worn thin. The child has broken my Spirit and my Cool several times today and it’s not yet dinnertime. The most common phrase in this household today: “Leave your Sister Alone.” (Small blessing: He loves her so much. Unfortunately so much that he is always in her face kissing her and kissing her AND kissing her. Kissing her while I’m nursing. Um, yeah it’s annoying. Kissing her while I’m changing her diaper. Um, yeah it’s annoying. ) Also, he has selective hearing and a strong will of his own. Apparently in his mind, all instructions and directives are optional until said a 4th time. I think maybe on the 4th time, our voice not only carries the sound of irritation and exasperation but the vein starts bulging out.
I’m not saying the Baby is manipulative…..yet. But if she is awake, she is fussing to be held. Hubby thinks I have spoiled her and that I hold her too much. However, listening to her cry when my patience is already thin with the Boy really isn’t an option. So into the baby carrier she goes. I’d rather ruin my back than listen to a crying baby. (I’m currently typing one-handed as she is in my other arm.)
I hate to think that battle lines are drawn. It’s us versus our children. Aren’t we suppose to be on the same team? But Hubby & I are frazzled. You can hear it in our voices. We are about two temper tantrums away from turning on each other. We are tired of taking turns, giving each other a break. This life is exhausting no matter how you look at it. I suppose that’s the nature of this stage. And I tell myself this whining, this crying, this sleep deprivation is just a stage. We are about to turn the corner. But are we really?
Right now it’s relatively calm. The Baby is happily sitting with me. The Boy is happily playing downstairs in his overstocked toy room. The Hubby is putzing around the house. I am regrouping with my writing rant (Writing = Therapy) before I start dinner. I am also trying to not look around the house which is in its usual state of disaster.
No one ever wants to admit that sometimes being locked up in a small white room by yourself would be blissful. Imagine the silence. Imagine the clean white walls. Just Imagine. But I know I’d last about 15 minutes, ok, more like 30 minutes before I start missing my children, before I start wondering what they are doing, before I want to see them and kiss them. At least that’s what happens to me when I do get a break, like this morning when I was getting my nails done. 30 minutes later I was texting Hubby for an update.
My children are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I am just tested daily about my worthiness as a parent. Yes, I wish I didn’t find some days so difficult. Yes, I can admit that some days, or a string of days, are much harder than others. Yes, I have accepted the fact that I will always love my children, I just won’t always like what they do. I have accepted that my children won’t always like what I do either (Hopefully, if I am fortunate, they will love me even through the difficult days.). And that’s ok to admit.
At the end of a difficult day, I self-medicated with 30 minutes of mindless exercising on the treadmill until the sweat and endorphins kicked in. As much as I want the cookies and beer, I’d like to keep up with my Kiddos and figured I can’t be weighed down. I’d like to have this parenting gig for a long time, at the very least until I see my grandchildren (also known as Payback).
Ah…leisurely sipping coffee in the company of my girlfriend(s)…it’s one of my greatest pleasures. Discuss. Sip. Chat. Sip. Vent. Sip. Contemplate. Sip. Encourage. Sip. Breathe.
Today my friend A and I ventured to Busboys & Poets in Shirlington Village for coffee and breakfast.We both give a thumbs up to the location, menu, vibe of the place and will definitely return.Our purpose today was to catch up after over a month of no coffee dates.After a very long wait, A and her husband have adopted a beautiful baby girl and,among the craziness of the holidays, is adjusting to parenthood.We have neither seen or communicated much except for a few texts and Facebook posts. I eagerly listened to her experiences with instant motherhood, nap schedules, and the joys of having the cutest baby girl who sleeps through the night.She is happy.And I am happy for her.
I tend to think that I don’t do very much in a week, especially in comparison (the dreaded comparison) to working moms.Always the same rote routine: groceries, cleaning, laundry, cooking, library runs, playing, errands (and coffee dates!).Granted the past two weeks have been different since we have celebrated Christmas (and my, oh my, the work involved in creating the magic! I wholeheartedly agree with Suburban Turmoil’s Dec 27, 2010 post “Let the Holidays Begin”. ).There is no school, and thankfully Hubby is home on vacation.
However, talking with A this morning made me realize just how many big topics I have addressed for my very curious child in the past 2 weeks.Wow! When does this get any easier?!It doesn’t.I know.But do I always have to feel so unprepared and ambushed?! In no particular order, my child and I have discussed the following topics in the past 2 weeks and let me just say, most came out of left field, of which I was not quite prepared:
Gay Marriage: “Mommy, Isn’t it funny if a boy and a boy get married?”
Death: “Mommy, I am sad that Nanay is turning into bones like the dinosaurs.”
Life Everlasting: “Mommy, I want you to become a vampire so you can live forever.And then I want you to make me a vampire, too so we can live forever together.”
Anatomy: “Mommy, How will the baby get out of your Belly?”
Mario Brothers Game: “Mommy, if I press on my scrotum, it gives me super fast power.”
Hubby and I must have been prepared for Christmas.Because we were not surprised by any questions about Santa and his elves, sleigh delivery time schedules, making of toys and keeping of lists nor on the religious side either, the birth of Jesus in a manger.Kiddo accepted it all without too much questioning….this year, anyway.
My coffee date with A was very refreshing for me because I got to reflect and delight in parenting and all its endless questions.A knows her time is coming.In only a few years she, too, will be answering the “tough” questions.After such heavy duty reflection, our coffee date
ended with a little bit of Cake Love. And that’s what the world needs – more love of any kind!
Today I spent an exorbitant amount of time catering to my child’s desire to find the perfect toy at Toys R Us. Yesterday, I had bribed promised my son a new toy as a reward for exceptionally good behavior at the doctor’s office. He wouldn’t let me forget it either and gleefully reminded me that we needed to take a trip to the Toys R Us after lunch. We had a short argument about Target versus Toys R Us, but I caved, knowing that I wouldn’t be tempted to overspend at Toys R Us.
He looked at EVERYTHING – games, Thomas & friends, books, Legos, Lightning McQueen, Toy Story, Diego, Imaginex, Animal Planet. After an hour, I had reached my limit. Don’t ask me why I didn’t set a time limit with him beforehand. I tried some gentle prompting to pick out a toy followed by mild threats that if he didn’t pick something out quickly, we would leave the store empty-handed. I didn’t get truly ugly, just reverted to my inner teenager: exasperated sighs and an eye roll or two.
Somewhere in Aisle 5, a lightbulb went off. Yes, I am THE parent. Yes, I am in “control.” Yes, I should direct him to pick a toy and then go. End of story. Maybe I actually said with conviction this time around: “Pick out the toy you want and then we are going. What toy do you want?” And without hesitation, Prince led me back to the Lightning McQueen aisle to pick up yet another Chick Hicks. Thankfully, I got off lightly – only $6.
Since my SAHM days are coming to end, I am recording how I spend my days so I can recollect how good I had it.
0645 Morning Duty 0830 Coffee break & IM with friend 0900 House-hunting/Making phone calls to set up appointments 1030 Personal Maintenance/Indulgence 1200 Pick up kiddo 1230 Lunch * 1330 Home & IM with friend 1500 Shopping @ Toys R Us (bribery/reward for good behavior at Dr office) 1630 Facebook 1730 Dinner (spaghetti & corn) ** 1900 Bedtime Duty 2000 Websurfing – Searching for jobs *** 2100 Ahhhh…..Me time
*Cupboards/Fridge are void of lunch options. Need to get groceries. Holding out til payday doesn’t look like a realistic option.
**Hubby had dinner duty tonight.
***Simultaneously fascinating & frightening. The good news: there are jobs in my former career field out there. The bad news: I am not current. I need a major injection of confidence, dust off the cobwebs in my brain, and bone up on my skills level. Ugh! I so do not want to rewrite the resume. I don’t even think it will be a rewrite. More like a fresh start.
Today’s Expenses: $ 1.65 Coffee $10.90 Lunch $ 6.58 Toys R Us
The other day I admonished my preschooler in the car for whiningly demanding yet another trip to the toy store.
“Son, you might as well learn this now and save yourself a lot of heartache. You don’t always get what you want.”
I then ignored his whining for the rest of the car ride. Eventually the catchy tune on the radio diverted his attention or he simply gave up.
A few hours passed, and the toy quest had been forgotten. But now the tables have turned. I’ve been researching online for our upcoming relocation, and this spoiled mama has been whining to her best friend about her desire to live in a trendy urban neighborhood with a short commute. And drum roll, please….I literally just realized that I really may not get what I want! (Best Friend already knows this, but knows better than to point out the obvious when Spoiled Wifey is still working things out in her head!)
I’m flabbergasted. Yes, and this is what makes me a spoiled wifey. We have to relocate to a major US city for hubby’s work. We are fortunate to receive a housing allowance. I just assumed that we would live in the same city as he worked (and that’s with the assumption we would be downsizing from a roomy suburban setting to a space-conscious urban setting). My harsh reality is that we cannot afford to live in said town on a single income with our present obligations. There are tough choices ahead to include the “W” word.
Spoiled Wifey Moment: I’m pissed that I might have to go back to work to pay for an empty house in a suburban town that I HATE (especially considering that if this obligation would go away, we just might be able to live where we want!)! I’m doubly pissed that I have to even consider going back to work prematurely, especially since this is my last year with the preschooler before he officially starts school.
There is nothing like parenting to make you experience IRONY first-hand.
