Birthday Splurges & Reflective Spoiled Wifey

Forget birthdays. I celebrate my birth MONTH! That’s right, all month long I celebrate ME. Indulgent? Yes. Am I worth it? Hell Yes!

The following list of activities & gifts have made my birth month truly special and indulgent. In no particular order, I have enjoyed:

(1) Hubby teaching kiddo the importance of birthdays, other than his own. The two went grocery shopping for my birthday dinner and cake. They also bought me a gorgeous bouquet of yellow roses (my favorite!) and a small birthday gift, an insulated water bottle (which I have been wanting but never have gotten around to getting. Best of all, kiddo picked it out just for me!)

(2) Coffee & brunch with Gal Pals in my honor, not once but twice!

(3) Cupcakes (no calories the month of January!)

(4) New pair of prescription glasses & sunglasses.

This is the big splurge since I haven’t updated my frames in 9 years or so.

(5) Out to dinner alone with Hubby

My choice – Mexican, which normally would require some arm-twisting of hubby. Not only did I NOT get a no-I’m-not-gritting-my-teeth smile, but I got his genuine smile (therefore, very sexy) and great conversation. Thankfully, we do still have other things to talk about other than his career, my domesticity, and our child.

(6) Dinner made by Hubby – Savory Crepes (Yum!)

(7) Pedicure & Retail Therapy (Ahhhh Aveda!)

(8) Birthday cards received from friends & family via Snail Mail.

For a friend to take the time to pick out a card and mail it, well, to me that truly is a testimony of friendship because of the time & effort involved when clearly we are all too busy.

(9) Silence/Alone Time * the greatest gift of all these days

I get to write and reflect uninterrupted in the afternoon when I’m most alert. Not at night when I’m dragging from a full day of whatever it is I do all day.

And now for Reflective Spoiled Wifey

Perhaps since my birthday falls in January, I naturally reflect on my past, my present and my future.

Today, however, I will not go into a downward spiral wondering what I have and have not accomplished in my thirty-something years. Undoubtedly, with too much introspection, I will fall short or feel like a failure. Or feel like I could do more, so much more and the clock is a-ticking, time is a-wasting, and I need to get moving.

Right now life is still full of Possibilities. Of Delight. Of Happiness.

I am the Mother I want to be.

I am the Wife I want to be.

I am the Daughter I want to be.

I am the Friend I want to be.

But Am I the Woman I want to be?

What is important to me now?

Family. Relationships. Sense of Self. Comfortable in my Own Skin. Community.

I don’t fear aging (That’s a little white lie: maybe I have just a little bit of fear).

I say that while thinking about my post-baby body & look transformation list. *ahem* The list is quite long: tattoos, nails, developing a long-term relationship with a hair stylist, laser hair removal, teeth whitening, new wardrobe, exercise regimen (Zumba, baby!)…..We are working on post-baby transformation budget. So maybe a bit more fear than I realize. Or perhaps I look at it as taking care of myself (and keeping Hubby interested.) ;)

It has taken me years but I am still working on balancing and accepting my chosen role as stay-at-home mom. I just recently started scheming again, trying to figure out what I could do for paid employment outside the home. I did this a lot with my first child during the first year of his life until my Mother-in-Law commented in a non-judgmental way that I should really should just enjoy this stage of motherhood because I can. So I really have let that go, defining myself through work outside the home. (I grew up thinking I’d be Super Mom and have it all – Family, Baby, Career. However, I just never found the perfect Career for me to make the Juggle of Life worth it. Trust me, I have been all over the map trying things out: Military, Graduate School, Non-profit, Massage Therapy.)

Now with the second child on its way, I once again face the reality that I will not work outside the home for a minimum of two years (unless our circumstances drastically change) but most likely for another five years. And while this is what I want and what Hubby and I think is best for our family, it’s a bit disconcerting looking at the other side, 10 years down the road. What will I do/can I do when I’m a forty-something-year old with a sporadic part-time work history for the past decade?! But alas, I am not worrying too much, as I have plans, ideas, schemes and a very strong belief that I can do it (once I figure out what “IT” is!). Besides I’m enjoying this stage of Motherhood. It’s just turning into a long stage, taking care of soon-to-be baby and a preschooler.

So this is me during my birth month in a nutshell: a happy thirty-something-year old who thinks being in her 30s rocks! Life is Good! And I know I’m spoiled.

When Will I Learn that Life Never Happens With Just ONE Phone Call?

Today I literally only had two things that I had to accomplish:

(1) Make a medical appointment, and

(2) Pay the annual premium for my life insurance policy.

In my mind, both tasks should have required minimal effort. The first task, one phone call. The second, log on online. It’s almost the end of the day, and I am 1 of 2 and near my stress saturation point. Truly, I need to adjust my expectations. I should plan for multiple calls and follow-up calls, and then be pleasantly surprised if it only does take one phone call. But alas, this is not how I operate.

Really, how hard is it to make an appointment?! (Warning: Spoiled Wifey venting) The short version is my primary health care manager decided at the last pre-natal visit that I should have a follow-up ultrasound this month. I’m measuring 4 weeks bigger than I should be. Now granted, I was sleep-deprived and on the verge of sickness at the last visit, but I do remember repeating twice her instructions. She said that they, whoever “they” may be (Yes, I probably should have clarified but I must have been assuming the ultrasound/radiology clinic), would contact me the following week after Christmas. As we all know, when “they” (Yes, yes, of course, my people will contact your people.) are suppose to contact you, that’s usually a flag that you will be making phone calls yourself to follow-up. So after the holidays and (surprise!) not hearing from the clinic, I started the phone calls to make my ultrasound appointment.

Day 1: After repeated answering machines, I finally get a live person who then kindly informs me that it is a hospital training day. He is a contractor; hence, why he is working but as far as he knows, it is a training day and all clinics are minimally manned (i.e. no one is answering the phones). Give up Day 1.

Day 2: I leave a message with my health care provider to confirm her instructions from 2 weeks ago concerning this ultrasound. Was this through the Prenatal Assessment clinic or Radiology? Called Prenatal Assessment clinic and left a message. A nurse from the prenatal assessment clinic returns my call within an hour (small victory!) with a message that they do not have any ultrasound appointments available and to call the referral management system to see another provider. (uh oh). Give up Day 2.

Day 3: I call Radiology. Radiology also instructs me to call the referral management system. I call the Referral Management System. They do not have a referral for me in the system. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. I ask politely with whom should I call next. I am referred back to my primary health care provider. Meanwhile, I am still waiting to hear from my health care provider from my phone call yesterday.

Day 4: So tomorrow I make my last phone call back to my primary health care provider concerning the ultrasound referral. Although I am sure that this will not get resolved or an appointment made before my next prenatal visit in 2 weeks. *sigh*

As you might surmise, I’m not a rebel rouser. I’m not on the phone all afternoon raising hell until I get the right answer. I try to work within the system and within my tolerance for making phone calls. But really, am I being unreasonable for originally thinking that I could have picked up the phone and made the appointment with just one phone call (especially considering my health care provider said they’d contact me.)?

I won’t even go into great detail concerning the life insurance fiasco. Let’s just say it involved password recovery which required a phone call. Naively I thought I would go online and finish the deal, only to find that the online payment system was not working. So I was back on the phone to make a payment, which when you manually have to enter the numbers over the phone, it takes a nice chunk of your time when you are wishing you could be doing something else. Oh goodness, 30 minutes of my life gone….coupled with the multiple phone calls to the hospital another 30 minutes…and let’s not forget mothering at the same time (I deferred to the Wii this afternoon.).

Yes, I understand this is part of life’s aggravations. I guess I always expect “it” to be easy, one phone call, and straight to the point. And “it” isn’t. And that’s where I get frustrated. Stressed. Aggravated. Need to lower my expectations, maybe? Expect it to be more work. More challenges. More time. I’ll add that to my new year’s resolutions. (But I’m not completely spoiled and ungrateful. I am very thankful for health care & life insurance!)

Parenting Reflections at Weekly Coffee or Alternate Title: How to Respond to “Mommy, if I press on my scrotum, it gives me super fast power.”

Ah…leisurely sipping coffee in the company of my girlfriend(s)…it’s one of my greatest pleasures. Discuss. Sip. Chat. Sip. Vent. Sip. Contemplate. Sip. Encourage. Sip. Breathe.

Today my friend A and I ventured to Busboys & Poets in Shirlington Village for coffee and breakfast. We both give a thumbs up to the location, menu, vibe of the place and will definitely return. Our purpose today was to catch up after over a month of no coffee dates. After a very long wait, A and her husband have adopted a beautiful baby girl and, among the craziness of the holidays, is adjusting to parenthood. We have neither seen or communicated much except for a few texts and Facebook posts. I eagerly listened to her experiences with instant motherhood, nap schedules, and the joys of having the cutest baby girl who sleeps through the night. She is happy. And I am happy for her.

I tend to think that I don’t do very much in a week, especially in comparison (the dreaded comparison) to working moms. Always the same rote routine: groceries, cleaning, laundry, cooking, library runs, playing, errands (and coffee dates!). Granted the past two weeks have been different since we have celebrated Christmas (and my, oh my, the work involved in creating the magic! I wholeheartedly agree with Suburban Turmoil’s Dec 27, 2010 post “Let the Holidays Begin”. ). There is no school, and thankfully Hubby is home on vacation.

However, talking with A this morning made me realize just how many big topics I have addressed for my very curious child in the past 2 weeks. Wow! When does this get any easier?! It doesn’t. I know. But do I always have to feel so unprepared and ambushed?! In no particular order, my child and I have discussed the following topics in the past 2 weeks and let me just say, most came out of left field, of which I was not quite prepared:

Gay Marriage: “Mommy, Isn’t it funny if a boy and a boy get married?”

Death: “Mommy, I am sad that Nanay is turning into bones like the dinosaurs.”

Life Everlasting: “Mommy, I want you to become a vampire so you can live forever. And then I want you to make me a vampire, too so we can live forever together.”

Anatomy: “Mommy, How will the baby get out of your Belly?”

Mario Brothers Game: “Mommy, if I press on my scrotum, it gives me super fast power.”

Hubby and I must have been prepared for Christmas. Because we were not surprised by any questions about Santa and his elves, sleigh delivery time schedules, making of toys and keeping of lists nor on the religious side either, the birth of Jesus in a manger. Kiddo accepted it all without too much questioning….this year, anyway.

My coffee date with A was very refreshing for me because I got to reflect and delight in parenting and all its endless questions. A knows her time is coming. In only a few years she, too, will be answering the “tough” questions. After such heavy duty reflection, our coffee date

ended with a little bit of Cake Love. And that’s what the world needs – more love of any kind!

Next week: Coffee date with A & working mom K.

I Have Substandard Holiday Craft Skills, EVEN WITH a Pre-made Kit!

It seemed like a simple gingerbread tree kit, a great opportunity for the kiddo and me to have some holiday craft fun. Play with icing. Stick candies all over the tree. How hard could it be?

The evidence--Our project:





The kit cover:



My 1st oops -- disassembling the tree branches. Too much force, apparently. Result: Broken tree branches.

My 2nd oops – too large of a cut with the icing bags. Result: Icing EVERYWHERE!

The kiddo is trying to be patient while I assemble the tree. He is opening all the candy bags and sampling the decorations. Finally, the tree is together, haphazardly but ready for little boy fingers. But the icing proves too difficult to work with. It’s not super cement glue like he is accustomed to. It doesn’t hold the candy on contact.




And yet he smiles, obviously pleased.



He loses interest after 15 minutes (although I argue that 15 minutes not in front of the TV this holiday vacation, so perhaps worth it.)

Start to Finish for Mama: 50 minutes. Although clean-up lasted the longest of all. And I still have to wash my tablecloth!

No one said it had to be Martha Stewart-perfect. Just fun!

Ah, Spoiled Wifey is working hard creating the Christmas magic & memories….

Spoiled Wifey Note: Day 1 of 14 for holiday vacation.

Rudolph Bit Off Santa’s Beard and Other Things We Tell Our Children….

This past weekend we took the kiddo to a breakfast with Santa, hosted by his church preschool that he attends. I had high hopes that we would score the perfect photo for our Christmas card and maybe snag a family photo, too.

This is what I got:

A BEARDLESS SANTA in jeans & cowboy boots!!

I don’t require perfection. I am all about flexibility. But come on, Santa needs to have a beard!

Mrs. Claus did have a quick recovery. She read a story to the children while Santa was tending the reindeer, and then she prepped the children about the beard situation. So her story is that Rudolph bit off part of Santa’s beard, although I’m not sure why – if he was hungry or ornery (I guess I should ask my child to clarify. He no doubt will know.). Santa didn’t want an uneven beard so he shaved it off. But he PROMISED that his beard would be full and bushy by Christmas. *Promise*

Does my kiddo look unconvinced? Skeptical? Hooked? I think a strong desire for toys outweighs any serious questions that he might have had. He dutifully stood in line and patiently waited his turn to talk with Santa. We “kind, flexible, roll-with-the-punches” parents discussed whether Santa might have been a tad more approachable for the wee ones without his beard. (Ha!) In the end, we got our little boy a picture with Santa, just not the picture perfect one I had hoped for. The kiddo though had a great time. And really what more should I ask for?!

Hmm…..although I do have to go to Plan B for the Christmas card photo.

Double hmm…..and I am still debating whether we should pursue another Santa photo. But what then will I tell my child when he sees a slightly different Santa? He did tell me he now knows what Santa looks and sounds like. Oh my, what’s my story now?!

Cheers!!