Overscheduling Their Childhood

My kiddos are happily jumping around at gymnastics right now.  

School has started, so new routines and new demands to my time and attention.  Every year is an adjustment, but more so this year since I have returned to the world of paid employment outside the home.  It’s part-time but dominates my schedule, as I jigsaw all the responsibilities I have for home, family and work within 24 hours.  Always, I am the primary chauffeur.   My schedule is regimented: before school, during school, after school.  Occasionally, I feel freedom after 8:30PM but always short-lived before the mental checklist for tomorrow starts.  I don’t enjoy the scheduling aspect of modern motherhood.

For one crazy week of lapsed judgment, I had convinced myself that both kids needed 2 after-school activities.  I thought that this would be do-able if I could find 2 activities on the same 2 days of the week with locations in close proximity.  Right.  Have I mentioned that I am an optimist?  That, of course, did not pan out.  Because I also waited until the first week of school to register, activities were already filled up.  Who knew most kids extracurricular activities started the week before school?  (People, that’s the last week of summer!  Hello?) 

No one in the family could rally for Cub Scouts.  It never gelled for us last year, and while I was half-heartedly willing to try this again, no one seem particularly excited, to include the boy. I began the rally for a 2^nd sport or activity.  Martial Arts? Tennis?  However, a 2^nd activity meant that I would be carting the kids every night Monday through Thursday.  Does anyone else think this is overkill for a preschooler and elementary kid?  Yes, it is.  Because thinking about this schedule immediately puts me in a foul mood, which seriously makes my job as family cheerleader more difficult.  

What makes sense for my family?  I gave myself permission to drop the crazy schedule AND permission to not feel guilty that somehow the kids are going to miss out on enrichment, on activities, on friendships.  I gave myself the pep talk that the kids will be just fine, even if I don’t cart them around town after school every day, that they are not falling behind socially, that I’m in fact providing boundaries in a world of unlimited choices.

I feel at peace with my decision.  Today, anyway.

My Best Self

I found this list on my phone.  Written late at night, during one of my bouts of insomnia, or nursing a baby, or whatever kept me up in the middle of the night, circa Dec 2011. 

I'd live within my budget. ( Nope.)
I'd wipe the sink after I apply my makeup.  (Nope.)
I'd write something every day. (I don't think Facebook status should count. So nope.)
I'd exercise for the recommended 50 minutes. (20 minutes.  It's better than nothing.)
I'd spend more than 2 passing minutes with my dogs. (Yes, see above 20 minutes walking the dogs.)
I'd sweep everyday.  (Definitely no.)
I'd put away laundry as soon as its folded. (*sigh* No.)
I'd do dishes before going to bed.  (Never.)
I'd make my bed in the morning. (Occasionally.)
I'd engage in random acts of kindness. (I am kind in general especially in slow grocery lines.  That should count.)
I'd laugh & make someone smile every day. (Yes!)

After 2 years, I can report that writing things down does not make it more likely to happen.   But 4 out of 11, what percentage is that - 40%.?  Maybe this need to be posted on my bathroom mirror....

Pleasantly Surprised, Y’all, about West Texas

Abilene is not quite how I remembered it.  

For starters, since I’m here now, there is no reason to be cranky about it.  See previous cranky post.  DC is already a distant memory. I’m looking forward to the possibilities in Abilene, prettiest little town I’ve ever seen (if you like the color brown and squatty mesquite trees).  No, seriously, the town is much better than I remembered.  Plus I put my big girl panties on and quitted my bitchin’. ;)

Here’s my Top 10 “Why I Like Abilene”:

1.      Texas Bling & Cowboy Boots.  I need to get me some!

2.      Pedicures.  Every woman here gets pedicures (no joke) in order to unabashedly wear flip-flops.  (Just add some bling and you can even wear them to work!)

3.      Pick-up Trucks as the New Social Status!  I was a guest at the country club here in town, and I kid you not, more than half of the vehicles were some big ole American trucks. Few Audis, BMWs, Mercedes to be found. 

4.      Brisket, Salsa, Margaritas & Sweet Tea.

5.      Affordability.  I don’t feel broke here! 

Zoo camp is $140/week!  I’d pay at least $300 for a similar camp in DC and there would be no way I’d be able to sign him up the week before since the Type A parents of DC would have registered their darlings back in Feb!

Drop-in classes for Zumba are $7.  $7!  Seriously?! 

6.      Unpretentious. (I am starting to suspect that I might be the snooty one! Yikes!)

7.      Size Matters.  My house is BIG.  Size of a house is relative, right?  No, but really, it’s big with tall ceilings and an open kitchen. I can fulfill my domestic goddess kitchen duties while I keep an eye on the kids in the backyard or as they play in the living room.  It’s so convenient!

8.      Speed Limit is 75.  And people still drive over the limit!

9.      The view.  Every day when I drive my car around town, I have a very beautiful view of big open skies, wind turbines to the west, and a butte to the east.

10.  No traffic.  Ever.

There are plenty of things I don’t like, too, but I won’t kill the high I have right now recognizing all the things I appreciate right now in West Texas.  I’m sure the rant will come, but for now it’s an Attitude of Gratitude, y’all!

The Great American Road Trip with the Grandparents & the Kids

I200 miles. From Texas to Wisconsin.  Stop cringing.  It hasn’t been too bad….yet.  

I’m not sure we are saving any money over flying.

I am a seasoned long haul road tripper.  I love road trips, after intense conditioning by frequent road trips of my youth. My parents did not believe in, nor could afford, air travel.  We drove everywhere.   Back in the day when…

Old School:  I tell Handsome Little Man, “We didn’t have smart phones, iPads, DVD players.  Gasp!  We had to use our imaginations.  Play the sign game.  Or the license plate game.  We’d have to read.  Sing.  Have conservations.  Look out the window.  Enjoy the landscape.  Annoy your sibling.” (Yes, a true sign of getting older is “when I was your age” speech.)

My older sister used to play dead.  Ok, she was just sleeping, ignoring her little sister.  After countless pokes of non-responsiveness, she’d win.  I’d start crying, thinking my sister had died in the backseat of the family car.  Game over when the parents, annoyed, tell her to knock it off.  

My Dad would say “THIS is America.”  Sometimes referring to the amazing American landscape.  More times than not, making reference to the unbearable smell of manure.  Or dead skunk.

Dad, now Grandpa, also overuses a hand gesture that only he knows the meaning, that he gives to drivers he thinks deserves it.  The slow driver.  The signal-lights-are-optional driver.  The tailgater.  And now these days the-distracted-on-the-cell-phone driver.  He has done all the driving this trip.  I’ve only had to grip my oh-shit handle twice each day.

It amazes me that there are so many Americans who never cross state lines.  Never enjoyed the open road.  Never seen the grandeur of America from the car.  I am fortunate that I have.  Road trips broaden my perspective.  I appreciate people from different parts of the country.   Certainly helps during election year when I see the map of red vs blue states.  I am much more tolerant.  I am much more appreciative of our collective persona.  

I wish every American, especially the youth, should have a chance for a multi-state road trip. There’s a whole country out there, not as depicted on TV by Hollywood, or by politicians in DC.  It can only foster hope for America.  Acknowledge everything that contributes to our greatness.

Back to today’s road trip.  We are traveling to Wisconsin to celebrate my grandparents’ 70^th anniversary.  70 years!

The kids are happily watching from the dropdown DVD player.  If that should fail, I have a portable DVD player, an iPad, and a slew of DVDs.  I have books, workbooks, toys.  Neither kid has to look out the window.  Although that would be a shame.  We point out things but they are not easily impressed.  I am emphatically pointing out the St. Louis arch, spouting out facts that I probably misremembered, telling him one day we are going all the way to the top.

Are we there yet?

Back in the day, my Dad mapped out our road trips with military precision.  Up before the crack of dawn, he’d have the car packed before my mom, sis, and I were barely out of bed.  I advised him that I travel differently with young children.  

(1)    No matter what time we get up, we won’t actually hit the road until 10:00 am.  He should consider any departure before 10:00 am a bonus. 

(2)    We are required to stop more frequently and when we do, there is no such thing as a “quick potty break.”  Stopping for gas will turn into a quick potty break, too.  Add a minimum of 30 minutes to your travel time for each stop.

(3)    Hotel swimming pools are essential!

                                                                                                                       

We are now back home in Texas.  2400+ miles.  6 days of driving. 6 days of visiting.  12 days of fun!  The grandparents enjoyed the quality time with their grandkids.  I enjoyed that I didn’t have to drive.  For the record, I did offer.  However, Grandpa did want to remain in control of some things.  It was all good – I actually read 3 books from start to finish.  3 books, people!   There is little time for leisure reading at this point in my life, so reading 3 books seemed quite indulgent.  Although I was reading for self-development.  (A business plan is underway!)